inside the mind of the municorn

No, you don't have to guess.

I finished my two papers!  They might be total crap, but at least they're done.  Now I don't have to worry about them anymore, and believe, that's good enough for me.  I was so sick of being stuck inside at my stupid computer writing stupid crap that I really don't care about.  The one was interesting at first, but by the end I was so sick of writing "Heinrich Schliemann this..." and "Heinrich Schliemann that"  Boooring...

So now I'm done.  

I've been thinking a lot about how I haven't written anything creatively that I actually like.  I miss being able to sit around for hours writing.  Of course, the last time I can remember doing that was last summer, and only because I was sick.  And I also had insomnia so I'd be up until five or six in the morning, and rather than doing nothing, I'd write.  Or I'd read books.  I'm reading Henry James' The Portrait of a Lady, but I'm not even 100 pages in.  That makes me really sad.  And it's only because I haven't had time.  I actually have one more book to read for school, but I'm really hoping that it's not going to be boring.  The first one that I read for school was so boring I actually considered shooting myself so that I wouldn't have to read it.  the second one was actually really interesting and was half a romancey thing.  It was good.  The last one I have to read... I don't know.  I'm a little bit afraid to even start reading it.  What if it sucks and I want to kill myself again?  I'm just so sick of reading books that have nothing to do with the class I'm taking.

So, another thing.  I think I might just stick around here and come back to UFV in September.  Just for a class or two, and I'd be working at the same time.  I don't know what kind of job I'd get, but I'd try to find something better than the minimum wage crap that I'm used to.  Something that pays me a little more money and is fairly slack.  Like in an office or something.  I could file stuff.  I could answer the phone (though I'm not sure that I want to do that again.  I actually hated the job I had like that before).  So I don't know.  The au pair thing has just become so complicated and people are so weird and stupid that I'm not sure that I want to do it.  Seriously, I have this one lady I was talking to, and I told her that her plans sounded like they'd suit mine.  And then she got it into her head that I was for sure coming and was then all insulted because I didn't email her back for two days because I was really busy.  What's that about?  I never told her that I was going to work for her for sure.  I just said that it might work out... And other people are weird as well.  Plus, it's not the type of job that you get to make any money, and I do need to make some money.  I need to have enough so that if I have to pay for some of my school stuff, I can.  

This feels like a decent size and my arms are getting sore, so I think I'll go. 

So, good news.  I have started on my second paper, and my first one is pretty much done.  I just need to do a works cited page and edit a little bit.  Otherwise, done.  Which is really quite miraculous, because I never finish papers THREE days before their due dates EVER.  Seriously, it's always the night before, or the day of... or five minutes before I'm having to leave to go to class to hand it in.

I do not recommend these practices.  They are not good for a person's mental health.  By the end of each paper, I feel like I'm going to die from exhaustion.  Thinking about all of these things is really hard.

Now I'm in the library doing my research for my Art History paper.  It's about this German Archaeologist named Heinrich Schliemann who was not actually an archaeologist (technically).  He was more of a treasure hunter.  He actually went around stealing stuff and digging without the permission on the country he was in.  Bad dude.  OH, and he had an ear issue.  Yeah, I read that somewhere.  I'm more excited about writing this paper because I think it's going to be quite interesting.  My last paper was on the Group of Seven and it was soooo boring.  You  think that Canadian art wouldn't be THAT boring, but it really was.

I hope that the papers will be not too bad... I've never gotten worse than a B or a B+ on a university paper... I used to get C+ a lot in highschool  But that was because I didn't know how to write a paper.  Now I've gotten really good at BSing and writing things that sound like I know wouldwhat I'm talking about.  Again, not something that I recommend doing.  Knowing what you are writing about is probably a better idea. 

All right... well, I guess I have about 7 minutes left of time to research and then it'll be time to trot off to my last class of the day.  And then it will be home time!  Yay!  Now if only I didn't have to drive back to Langley... Oh, and a rock flew into my windshield when I was coming to school and it made a big crack :(  My windshield was fine before... I'm very upset.

This should be an entry of epic proportions, but this is all I have to say:


Oh good God... 

Seriously, just kill me now.  3 days.  3 DAYS! 

... And I don't feel any different
...And I have no resolutions


I've decided that this year I won't make resolutions. I've finally realized that there really isn't a point in making them. I never follow through. And when it comes to the end of the year, I just feel totally crap because I haven't accomplished anything. And I really don't like that feeling.

So this year, I will just say that there are a couple of things that I would like to do:

* procrastinate less
* get into a good university
* go on a trip
* finish up my second year

Not too difficult. I'm already half finished my second year, and I've promised myself that I am going to go somewhere. And, I'm in the process of applying to schools. I'm sure (or at least I hope) that some school will want me.

I guess this is the entry where I'm supposed to look back at the past year. So maybe I will. What can I say about 2007?

* I finished my first year of university
* I've been a lot more independent
* I've found a lot of great music
* I finally read Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. I've been wanting to read it for years!
* I wrote a lot- mostly crap- for my Writing class, and also because I was sick over the summer
* I turned 19 and had my first legal drink at a pub
* I was much more outgoing

Not a lot happened this year. Mostly because I spent half of the year sick, or thinking that I was sick. I still maintain that I was, but others would say not. They are all wrong.

Sure, I didn't spend my New Year's Eve the way that I thought I would, but I still had a great time. I guess I should have realized that what I thought would happen just wouldn't. And you know what? I think I had a better time with my friends then I could have had anywhere else. They are the ones who have been around for me all year, and all of last year and the year before that... And years before that too.

So, I'll end this entry by wishing everyone a happy 2008. Let's hope it's a good one.

Had a fabulous time last minute shopping with Jill. Even if she didn't help me to choose something to get for my brother. I think I'm pretty happy with what I got for him though. I think that he'll like it. Or at least, I hope he will, and if not, I got gift receipts!

I can't believe that it is almost Christmas once again. And that once again, I left my shopping until the last minute. I can't avoid it. I'm such a procrastinator. A fact which will be addressed while making New Year's resolutions. Being a procrastinator is something that I cannot do anymore. It's just too stressful. And the stress is (obviously) bad for my health.

Speaking of procrastinating, I think I've kind of narrowed down which schools I'm applying for. I think I will apply to U of A, York U and UBC. Three schools with unique programs and two are in different provinces. That fact makes me really happy. And that is why I am leaning towards them. Well, also because I don't know that I can get into UBC. I'll try, but I won't promise myself anything. I don't want to get my hopes up.

Okay, well I have to get back to my cleaning. But hey, Merry Christmas!

It is almost hard to believe how quickly this semester went by. One day I'm stressing about midterms, the next minute I'm freaking out about term papers and final exams. Strange how that works. Overall, this semester has been a pretty okay semester. I wrote quite a lot, and that has to count for something. That Creative Writing class was probably the best class I've ever taken at UCFV. I had great workshop groups, and I wrote stuff that I really liked. Each piece, though very different in content, still contained that 'Miriam-ness' that readers find really appealing. I find it really great that something of myself comes out in my writing. I've managed to establish a voice at a stage where most people are just discovering their voice. I like to say that I'm a bit ahead of the game.

My stories this semester all met with great reviews. Peers, parents and teachers all liked them. And I didn't get lower than an A- on anything that I wrote for that class. I actually got an A on my revision, and I didn't do too much to it. I just changed the ending a little bit. But I guess that little bit was enough for my grade to go from an A- to an A. I'd really like to share some of my writing, but I'm worried about people copying and pasting and claiming it as their own. That happens so often now and it scares me.

Since school has been out I've been in a really creative mood, but I have yet to write one thing. I don't know what that is all about. I've got ideas in my head, but I just don't feel motivated to write them down. I think I need a new notebook. Something that is beautiful and has really nice, soft pages that don't get all thin and gross. Maybe when I go shopping tomorrow I will see if I can get one.

I'm really hoping to get some writing done in the next little while, but if I don't, I guess it's not that huge of a deal. However, it would be nice to do something so I can feel like I'm getting closer to having a portfolio ready. Deadlines for portfolios are usually March or April, and even though it sounds like a lot of time, it really isn't. My next semester is going to be crazy. I am taking:

Anthropology 130: World Religion
Philosophy 100: Reasoning
English 210: Composition
History 110: Britain 1600-1990
and hopefully, English 303: Writing Historical Fiction

I don't see myself having too much free time. I think I'm going to be writing a lot of papers, and I'll probably have 4 midterms and 4 finals. I'm not looking forward to that part. I'm not really looking forward to most of my semester. And I really won't be looking forward to it if I don't get into the Writing class. I'm third on the waitlist, but who knows how full the class is. Hopefully lots of people will drop the class so I can get in. I realize "my" genre is not specifically Historical Fiction, but that doesn't mean that it couldn't be. I'd like to explore my options, and also explore my writing. If I am told that I need to write something historical, I'm sure that I could. I'm not completely without talent. I also don't want to have the one genre stamp so early on. Just because I write stories that feature young, modern characters and are sarcastic and a little bit twisted doesn't mean I couldn't write a story about the life and times of a World War 1 veteran. I'm sure I could.

I've been thinking a lot about what I would write about if I do get into that class. History is something that I'm really interested in, and I like to think that I know a bit about world history. I'm thinking that a story about the Depression, or even something turn of the century with the fin de siecle influence would be cool. Having taken that Art History class I have another interesting aspect of history to write about. Art is and was a major part of society. And plus, references to artists and paintings would make me sound smart.

Anyway, I don't really know why I've been blogging so much, but I guess it's not really a bad thing. It's weird though, before I felt bad about not blogging enough, and now I feel bad about blogging too much!

Well, it has been about five months since I last posted to my livejournal. I do not know why I create blogs if I never use them. I was using my xanga for a while, but let's face it, I have one friend on xanga, and I can't always be counting on her to make me feel like less of a loser. One comment per entry just doesn't do anything for me.

So, school is done, or almost done anyway. Last night I had my third and second to last exam. It was very difficult. My brain felt like it had vacated my body. And what good timing too! Yes brain, please leave me when I am trying to write an exam! I was very upset, but tried to make the best of the situation. By the end of the exam though, I was quite worried because I actually had no clue what I was talking about. I was just rambling about love and trains and I don't know what else. We shall see how well that goes when I get my mark back.

On a happier note, I got my term paper back for that class... and I got an A-, or 86%!!! I hate to do it, but that so deserves multiple exclamation marks. Really, it does. I wrote the essay the day it was due, and finished only a couple of hours before I had to hand it in. I didn't actually start thinking about my topic until, maybe five days before the due date. And yes, I did discuss it quite extensively with my teacher, but still! Procrastination pays off once again. But I just don't know if it is worth it. My health suffers, my brain suffers, people around me suffer... my social life suffers! I need to start working on things before the due dates. Maybe I will say that will be one of my New Year's resolutions. Of course, I can never stick to any of those...

Sunday night was an interesting night. I had planned to do absolutely nothing. Watch The Royal, play a little Viva Pinata. But then I got a message from Richard asking if I wanted to do something because he was bored. And I really like how he asks me to hang out with him only when he has nothing else to do. Makes me feel really special. Anyway, he came over to my house (for the first time since we've been friends... so the first time in about five years) and brought his PS2 and Guitar Hero. He owns every Guitar Hero including one that is all about the 80s. It was a lovely evening, especially when I found the Kaiser Chief's Ruby on Guitar Hero 3! I was so excited, and Richard pretended (I think it was pretending) that he knew and liked the song. He told me that he had heard it when he was in England. Except Ruby came out this year, and he was in England in... grade 10, I think. Oh well, he tried, right!

I keep hearing that it is going to snow, and that would make me very happy, but I'm not going to hold my breath. If I did, I would probably die.

Today is going to be an excellent day, free of death and free of studying! YES! I plan on spending quite a bit of time on my xbox 360, because I am a loser and have become rather obsessed. I may also put up some Christmas decorations, and I had contemplated working on a story I've been writing for Jill since May. I just found the entire file, and when I was reading it, let's just that I was rolling on the ground I was laughing so hard. I really am hilarious. And quite mean to Jill. Most of the hilariosity comes from the mean things I say about Jill. OH well, she can handle it, I'm sure!

I have to do some Christmas shopping pretty soon. I don't want to buy too much, but I do need to get some things for a select group of 'special' people. I'm not sure what I'm buying, but I think if I wander around the mall aimlessly, I'll figure something out.

Anyway, my tummy is rumbling, so I think I might go enjoy a bowl of Frosted Flakes and Cheerios. Maybe even some chocolate milk and an episode or two of Friends. Then it will DDR time, and I will dance away my calorie filled breakfast. Good times ahead, good times ahead.

Perhaps my next entry will not be five months from today. I suppose only time will tell!

the words pour from my fingertips like wine from a drunkard's bottle.  
a fast-flowing stream embedded with rhymes and freudian slips.  
and you say to me that i'm speaking in riddles and 
do i even know what i'm saying anymore?
i answer, that's hardly the point of this.  
i'm trying to be misunderstood.  
don't you know that dark and moody is in right now?  
the less people understand about you,
 the more popular become.  
it's practically proven by scientific fact.
you laugh and tell me i'm ridiculous and 
ask when i, of all people, 
started caring about being "in" and popular.
and i can do nothing but stare at you.
how are you not getting that

                         
                                                 image                   is                   everything.



and you'd be better off if you understood that.

Hello livejournal.  I am municorn.  My friends call me Mimi, but I'm actually Miriam.

i'm just a little girl with big thoughts and dreams.

And honestly, that's probably the corniest thing I've ever written.  However, it is true.  I am a small girl.  As in, height challenged.  (truth: I'm 5'2")


I'm eighteen years old.  My birthday is in twenty-one days.  (truth: I'm really not all that excited to be nineteen)
I go to university.  I'm in my second year now, and this year I am going to buckle down and work hard.  I'm horrible when it comes to procrastinating.  But here's the thing, when I don't try I get decent marks, so I figure I'd get amazing marks if I actually tried.  Plus, this year I'm going to have my mother telling me that I need to do better.

I like a lot of things.  I won't bore you with the details, because talking about everything I am interested in could take hours, perhaps even days. (truth: I'm really into The Sims 2, Gilmore Girls, pilates and writing at present)

I have one brother.  He is two years younger than me and spends all of his time playing annoying games on his xbox 360.  Sometimes I feel like beating him up.  But I have managed to contain most of my rage.

Here, in this place that is livejournal I will attempt to post some of my poetry.  Some will be good, and most of it will be pretty bad.  I may also think about posting bits and pieces of other things that I am working on.  Stories, drama, maybe even a bit of a screenplay I've been working on.

I hope that maybe I will have some people who might read this.  But if not, then I'm happy with at least just having a place to talk to myself without seeming crazy.